I'm Sorry

Dear clarinet instructor,

I would just like to apologize for being such a failure to you. It simply is not possible for me to live up to your expectations. I am taking 15 credits, working 40 hours a week, in 3 musical ensembles, staying active in church, called as ward chorister and choir director, and still need to be able to eat and sleep. I have pretty much given up my social life and my dating life is non-existent.
 I'm sorry but I just cannot practice my clarinet for 2-5 hours a day, I'm lucky if I pick it up at all some days. Not all of us work as clarinet instructors and music professors and, therefore, are not able to practice throughout the day at work like you can.
My parents do not support me at all; I am completely independent and pay for everything I do, including school. I do not have the budget for buying dozens of reeds a month, getting my clarinet checked out constantly, and I certainly do not have the dough for a new professional clarinet. I have lived on my own for over a year and have been able to stay out of debt and pay for everything up front and in full, I would like to keep it that way. It is not worth it to me to go into debt for a new instrument when I have one already that works just fine. The fact that you even mentioned the idea of me not working as much and taking out a loan for school and a new clarinet sent chills down my spine; you might as well have told me to start biting off my right arm.
I understand that these extreme measures are what it takes to make it in this ridiculously competitive field, and I know that there are people out there that can make it happen and it works for them... I am not one of them. I have realized, thanks to you, that I obviously do not have the time, funds, dedication, or talent that it takes to be a clarinetist or a music major and so, after this semester, I will be changing my major and I will no longer be the "weak link" thorn in your side that I know that I am. I will not waste any more of your time that you would much rather use for teaching more competent students or, even better, getting in some of your 5 hours of practice a day. I will never stop playing and I will never give up on music, but I just cannot stand having it as a major anymore.
I will work my butt off for the rest of the semester and I will try my hardest to improve on my clarinet as much as I possibly can and perfect the music that I have instructed to perform. I don't believe in dropping the ball and throwing people under the bus when they have entrusted me with responsibilities and are relying on me. However, after this semester, you will not have to hold your breath with the fear that I can't practice enough to perform adequately enough for you. I'll get out of your hair and out of your way. Thank you for your time and thank you for everything you have taught me this past year.


Sincerely yours,

Elementary Education major (music minor)